Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
