And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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