whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
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