Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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