I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
