awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
