I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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