If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Randomize
