So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
