I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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