I wanna passion pit in your ass
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Rumble strips road head = magical
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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