So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
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