My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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