Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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