Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
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