Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
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