i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Randomize
