my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
and you fell through a lawn chair
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
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