As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
