then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
