They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
