look no pants
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
You have to summon your inner elephant
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Randomize
