i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
