Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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