In the future we'll all be gay
Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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