if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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