is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
