do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize