I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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