his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
