just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
