Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
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Do I have a choice?
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He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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