To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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