I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
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