She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
