people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
