I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize
