So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
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