I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
