She is in my trunk
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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