i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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