I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
