you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
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