Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
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He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
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He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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