if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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