Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
even my farts smell like vagina
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Randomize
