just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I take back everything I said about communal showers
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
