Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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