thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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