walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
