I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
