Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
