i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Randomize
