things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
