im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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