the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Randomize
