Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Randomize
