the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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