A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
