do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Randomize
