i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
