What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
