just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
