I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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