That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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