i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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