I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
