Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
